Instant Parenting is hard work

boundaries with kids book

When watching movies where a person comes into a relationship with someone with kids there is always two ways things go. One way is for some reason it’s all good, the kids are so into that person and that person is happy to be there. The other is the kids don’t like the person and does silly shit to break their the couple apart or the other person isn’t into kids and is shown how wrong they were about that thought. In real life that just doesn’t happen at all and the crazy thing is never see movies show that real shit people go through.  Hell, there aren’t even books to read on inserting yourself into a single parent home, I guess that isn’t a profitable market.

My girlfriend has three kids, two who are way too old to be as childish and helpless as they act, I’m not going to say they are helpless, childish yes but helpless no.  The Problem is the outside family members who don’t interact with them on a daily basis have no idea how lazy and wanna be spoiled they can be. The father and friends of one has informed the oldest of his “rights” and somehow having an IPOD and playing on the Xbox has become some law that translate into children’s rights. And there lies the biggest problem, no one other than my girlfriend is “parenting” these boys.. YES boys who from what I see have been treated like little daughters.  The oldest is 14 and has been trained not taught to clean, go to school and get grades in exchange for whatever his heart desires. I took the Xbox away because my girlfriend didn’t want one of his friends in the house because the little fucker is a thief who steals mostly my girlfriends shit. The Xbox is gone and now he is talking reckless about not doing good in school as if him failing affects either of us.  His dad could care less because he is so busy trying to be to best friend/ big brother instead of father.

MY dad was in and out and when I was younger he did the daddy thing teaching me how to do boy stuff. As time went by and he was gone I took it upon myself to step up and do shit and keep things in order. Maybe it’s the generation but when you’re 13 and 14 years old that is when you really want to man up. Keeping your house as well as yourself clean becomes a must, no dude wants to be around chicks stinking. No 14 year old wants to always find themselves begging for shit whether it’s a ride or just petty cash.  I try explaining it to the boys once and as sure as the sun will shine somewhere tomorrow various adults told them enjoy being a kid… Be a kid? So children should be pampered and allowed to run away without bathing as well as hold their education hostage for video games? I don’t have kids but I was one once, it’s not like these are little girls and I can’t relate at all, they’re dudes. I was each of their ages once and I know for a fact I wasn’t told by family members to not do what my mom said. I remember being about 13 or 14 and I cooked and the dishes were everywhere and the kitchen was fucked my aunt pulled me to the side and told me how that makes me and my family look like pigs and people who don’t care about us wouldn’t say shit like I need to clean up but would go off and talk about how nasty our kitchen was. I took one lesson from that day that has reigned true in my lifetime and that is people close to you get in your ass because they care. Am I saying that his dad doesn’t care about him? No, what I am saying is there is a lack of teaching from a father to his oldest about responsibility. You can have a normal childhood and still be responsible, I’ve seen it many places as a kid and adult. As of now anything I say is marked up as just talk as I get the “you’re not my dad” vibe from them. Yeah there should be movies and books about this portion of being inserted into a family.


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